Influencers' Lives Aren't Real

I remember sitting in my middle school bedroom in the ’90s, flipping through Seventeen magazine, staring at models with perfect hair, perfect clothes, and perfect lives, and thinking: "Why can’t I be like that?" Fast forward to now, and instead of glossy magazines, it’s Instagram feeds full of women who somehow bake sourdough, run DIY projects, do yoga, and post it all before 10 a.m. — while I’m over here trying to find my kids' matching socks and get them to the bus stop on time. The caption? “Just living my best life, so grateful!” I often put down my phone and think: Yeah, right.

That’s exactly the point Jo Piazza makes in Everyone Is Lying to You. The book dives into the influencer world, exposing how much of what we see online is carefully constructed. Every “spontaneous” post, every “authentic” video, is designed to grow a following... and sell something. Your feed isn’t lying to you because you’re imagining things; it’s lying because it’s literally built to.

And yet, Piazza doesn’t just dunk on these women. She admires them. Many of these influencers are running six- and seven-figure businesses, managing marketing, content, partnerships, and a relentless schedule, all while keeping up appearances. That takes brains, grit, and strategy, whether or not the life behind the lens is “real.”

So, what’s the takeaway for the rest of us scrolling at 11 p.m.? Admire the hustle if you want, but don’t compare your messy living room or leftover takeout dinner to a perfectly staged highlight reel. Your life is real. Your wins are real. And your self-worth doesn’t need a filter.

Ask Clara: How do I stop comparing myself to others?